ollieacompulsiveovereater

2007-07-06T14:03:00.000-07:00

It has been about a year since I last posted; in terms of abstinence it has been pretty good. This is what I look like today:

I am the one on the left. ;-)

I've been attending 3-4 OA meetings per week, following a foodplan (no binge foods, ever), working with others, making daily phone calls, working with a sponsor and I've introduced a (mostly) daily Step 11 practice in the morning.

What has changed?

I've come to grips that I don't believe in a supernatural power of any kind, nor do I believe in something I don't see evidence for. If one believes the surveys of top scientists, I am in the company with 93% of the elite scientists (those elected to the National Academy) and 60% of the "rank and file" ones (where I belong), even if I am in the minority in the general public and in the meeting rooms.

It is possible to have success in OA and remain an atheist or an agnostic! Of course, OA literature says as much, but there is always the absurd "We Agnostics" chapter from the Big Book; the approach there seems to be "don't worry if you are an atheist or an agnostic now; many of us were just like you but got started anyway, and now we are believers!"

For some reason, it just doesn't occur to people that some of us are non-believers because that is what an honest assesment of the facts takes us; but I digress.

Of course, the literature is useful.

When the literature (e. g., Big Book) says to do something ("take an inventory", "when these crop up, do this: ") then I follow directions. Why? Because when I do, I get more serene and abstaining is easier! I have evidence.

But I don't see the literature as something devinely inspired; I see it as a good training plan for life that my fellows came up with.

Don't get me wrong; I see the comically bad writing, the incorrect "facts", and the sometimes fundamentalist ranting. Nevertheless, the outline for the program of action is good.

Where I've had trouble is with those in the program that I'll call "fundamentalists".

I had a brief period of minor unpleasantness in my life recently, and another program friend told me that I had brought that upon myself; I was quoted:

Our actor is self-centered, ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?

Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

Now, I see that much of this applies much of the time; i. e., if I look down on my yoga students and try to inflate my self worth by showing off, I shouldn't get my feelings hurt if they don't come back. If I act in a selfish, inconsiderate way toward my family and the resent me, well?

But not all aspects in life are like this; in this case the person who sent me this quote seemed to be under the impression that I insulted a person who read my other blog by a harsh expression of a political opinion and they retaliated. That wasn't the case at all; I turned in a possibly threatening message (made to someone else) to law enforcement, and the person who made the threat was angry.

Or, I wonder if the person who sent me this thought that those who either died or were injured in the Oklahoma City bombing brought this on themselves?

Anyway, I asked the person who posted this for a clarification, and he said some things, including "You think that you are smarter than the Big Book".

Well, yes I do: the Big Book is a book and hence lacks intelligence. There is certainly some wisdom there, even in the above quoted passage. But it is hardly an answer for everthing that life might throw at you.

Besides, the Big Book and Alcoholics Anonymous is hardly a miracle cure;

“95% of the people who go to their first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting
never return for a subsequent Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Of the 5%
that do stay in Alcoholics Anonymous, many of those continue to drink
and use drugs.”
http://www.soberforever.org/sprinks.html

People often quit drugs or alcohol without entering treatment or
support groups like AA. Vaillant also found that of those who either
quit or cut back drinking, 75% did so without benefit of treatment or
AA."
http://www.peele.net/lib/harvmed.html


Heading Back To Basics by Georgina Gustin - 10/13/2002

“Back to Basics is a return to the original AA program of the 1940s
when we had a 50 to 75 percent recovery rate from alcoholism,” Wally
P. explained. “And we are seeing identical results today, and the
reason it has been brought back, or that I brought it back, is that
today the recovery rate is five percent. Nineteen out of 20 people who
enter AA do not recover, and back in the 1940s three out of four made
it.”
http://216.239.51.100/search?q=cache:i_QicAMycCEC:www.aabacktobasics.com/Newspaper%2520Articles/Back%2520To%2520Basics-New%2520London%2520CT%252010-13-02.doc+nationwide+alcohol+recovery+rates+one+year+percent&hl=en&ie=UTF-8
Though it does work for a certain subset of people.

So, what is my point? Here are a couple:

People can have long term recovery with different approaches to the program and to spirituality. I am an agnostic who leans toward atheism (I liked the new atheist books such as the God Delusion by Richard Dawkins) whereas my sponsor is a Roman Catholic.
Not everyone who has had success sees resources such as the Big Book in the same way. My friend had this bumper sticker on one of his vehicles; I would never do that as it would not only be embarrasing to me, but also dishonest.

The Big Book is just that: a book, written by humans.
Yes, I know, there is the danger of just cherry picking the parts that seem easy
and pleasant while neglecting the hard work that one really needs to do.

But that is true for any plan, be it an athletic training plan, a plan of study,
coursework at a university, or whatever.

2006-07-29T16:19:00.000-07:00

Am I feeling a bit down and blue. No, things are good; my daughter is lively and healthy, and I have my health, though I am nursing an injury.

My guess is that I didn't do a hard workout today is part of the reason. And I hope that part of the reason is not that I am not going to get to practice partner yoga with my yoga teacher.

If so, I'll have to give that up.

Part of it might be that I have been strict with food over the past several days?
I did make a couple of calls to OA memebers who might not be doing so well; that might help.

And there is always this:

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=62801

Obesity Linked to Mood Disorders

More Psychiatric Disorders, Less Substance Abuse in Obese People

By Daniel DeNoon
WebMD Medical News

Reviewed By Louise Chang, MD
on Wednesday, July 05, 2006

July 5, 2006 -- Obese people are 25% more likely to suffer mood and anxiety disorders -- and 25% less likely to suffer substance abuse disorders -- than people who aren't obese.

That finding is based on analysis of data from a nationally representative survey of 9,125 U.S. adults. Gregory E. Simon, MD, MPH, of Seattle's Group Health Cooperative, and colleagues report their results in the July issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry.

What the study does not say is whether obesity gives rise to psychiatric disorders -- or whether psychiatric disorders make it more likely a person will be obese.

Or, as Simon and colleagues write: "Nearly one-quarter of the cases of obesity in the general population are attributable to the association with mood disorder. It is equally correct to state that more than one-fifth of cases of mood disorder in the general population are attributable to the association with obesity."

The survey is based on in-home interviews with study participants, conducted between February 2001 and February 2003.

The survey shows that, compared with people who are not obese, obese people are:

21% more likely to suffer major depression
47% more likely to suffer bipolar disorder
27% more likely to suffer panic disorder or fear of open places
22% less likely to suffer substance use disorders.

There were no significant differences between obese men and obese women.

However, the link between obesity and mood disorders was particularly strong for non-Hispanic whites and for college graduates.

2006-07-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

It has been about a week and my weight has remained constant. That is ok, though I'd like to lose. It is a fact though that my upper body has gotten a bit more buffed (no, not like an athlete, but you can at least see arm muscles) and swimming has gone well.

One place where I am weak: at the store the other day, I snapped at a woman who was mildly rude to me. That was uncalled for; I need to pray daily for serenity and to be kind and gentle toward all.

2006-07-08T15:16:00.000-07:00

I've posted here that I do long endurance events for fun (mosty walking or running races). So, from time to time, I get injured. Thanks to OA, I don't have to worry about gaining weight during injury "down-times".

But I am always eager to return to training for my sport, so I often look at my old training logs to see when I had a previous injury and to see what I did to recover from it.

So, I ended up digging up my old logs from 1981-1983, back in my pre-morbid obesity days. I was in my early 20's and had never heard of OA.

But I had the disease then all right; in spite of running 30-40-50 miles per week, I had trouble controlling my weight. I bounced from 190-220 pounds frequently; often within the same year.

And many of my entries were about food, calories, etc. And how many times did I write: "diet starts today; THIS TIME I MEAN IT" only to read 3-4 days later "BINGE. WHY DID I DO THAT???"

I just didn't understand it. I had the discipline to get through running marathons, a service academy's physical, military and academic training as well as a nuclear engineering program. Yet, despite my best intentions, I couldn't control my eating.

Mind you, I wasn't to join the 300 pound club until the early 1990's.

But the signs were all there...those were not happy times.

2006-07-03T08:58:00.000-07:00

On a personal note: my weight is still holding from 193-195. This is a bit higher than I'd like, but it is within that 185-195 band.

Here are a couple of items of interest:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060702/ap_on_he_me/diet_obese_or_not

Experts debate labeling children obese

By LINDSEY TANNER, AP Medical WriterSun Jul 2, 4:01 PM ET

Is it OK for doctors and parents to tell children and teens they're fat?

That seems to be at the heart of a debate over whether to replace the fuzzy language favored by the U.S. government with the painful truth — telling kids if they're obese or overweight.

Labeling a child obese might "run the risk of making them angry, making the family angry," but it addresses a serious issue head-on, said Dr. Reginald Washington, a Denver pediatrician and co-chair of an American Academy of Pediatrics obesity task force.

"If that same person came into your office and had cancer, or was anemic, or had an ear infection, would we be having the same conversation? There are a thousand reasons why this obesity epidemic is so out of control, and one of them is no one wants to talk about it."

The diplomatic approach adopted by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and used by many doctors avoids the word "obese" because of the stigma. The CDC also calls overweight kids "at risk of overweight."

Those favoring a change say the current terms encourage denial of a problem affecting increasing numbers of U.S. youngsters.

Under a proposal studied by a committee of the American Medical Association, the CDC and others, fat children would get the same labels as adults — overweight or obese.

The change "would certainly make sense. It would bring the U.S. in line with the rest of the world," said Tim Cole, a professor of medical statistics at the University College London's Institute of Child Health.

The existing categories are convoluted and "rather ironic, since the U.S. leads the world in terms of obesity," Cole said. "There must be an element of political correctness."

The debate illustrates just how touchy the nation is about its weight problem.

Obese "sounds mean. It doesn't sound good," said Trisha Leu, 17, who thinks the proposed change is a bad idea.

The Wheeling, Ill., teen has lost 60 pounds since March as part of an adolescent obesity surgery study at the University of Illinois at Chicago.

"When you're young, you don't understand what obese means," Leu said. "I still don't understand it."

The CDC adopted the current terms in 1998, using weight-to-height ratios and growth charts from a generation of children much slimmer than today's.

Children are said to be "at risk for overweight" if their body-mass index is between the 85th and 94th percentiles. They're "overweight" if their body-mass index is in the 95th percentile or higher — or greater than at least 95 percent of youngsters the same age and gender.

Many pediatricians understand the first category to mean "overweight" and the second one to mean "obese," said the CDC's Dr. William Dietz. He said the word "obese" was purposely avoided because of negative connotations but conceded that many pediatricians find the current language confusing.

Adding to the confusion is the fact that about 17 percent of U.S. children are in the highest category, and that almost 34 percent are in the second-highest category. That sounds like a mathematical impossibility, but it's because the percentiles are based on growth charts from the 1960s and 1970s, when far fewer kids were too fat.

In children, determining excess weight is tricky, partly because of rapid growth — especially in adolescence — that can sometimes temporarily result in a high body-mass index.

For children in at least the 95th percentile, high BMI "is almost invariably excess fat," Dietz said. But there's less certainty about those in the second-highest category. So to avoid mislabeling and "traumatizing" kids, the CDC chose to be diplomatic, Dietz said.

The committee, set up by the American Medical Association, involves obesity experts from 14 professional organizations including the American Academy of Pediatrics. Their mission is to update recommendations for prevention, diagnosis and management of obesity in children.

Final recommendations are expected in September, and the participating groups will decide individually whether to adopt them.

Dr. Ronald Davis, the AMA's president-elect, said it's unclear whether the expert committee can develop a consensus on the obesity terms.

"There are seemingly legitimate arguments on both sides," said Davis, a preventive medicine specialist with Henry Ford Health System in Detroit.

Maria Bailey of Pompano Beach, Fla., whose 12-year-old daughter, Madison, is self-consciously overweight, opposes the proposed change. She said their pediatrician has told her daughter to exercise more and see a nutritionist, but "hasn't told her that she's in a (weight) category."

"We're already raising a generation of teenagers who have eating disorders," Bailey said. "I think it would just perpetuate that."

Paola Fernandez Rana of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., has a 9-year old daughter who at 40 pounds overweight is considered obese. Rana said doctors "refer to it as the 'o-word' " in front of her daughter "in an effort not to upset her."

"They very clearly told me she was obese," Rana said. But she said she agreed with the term and thinks that at some point it should be used with her daughter, too.

"Obviously I don't want my daughter to be overweight, but ... in order to change the situation, she is ultimately going to need to hear it," Rana said.

Dr. Michael Wasserman, a pediatrician with the Ochsner Clinic in Metairie, La., agreed. Using the term "at risk for overweight" is misleading, creating the perception "that I'm only at risk for it now, so I don't have to deal with it now," said Wasserman, who is not on the committee.

"There's a tremendous amount of denial by parents and children," he said.

Chicago pediatrician Rebecca Unger, also not a committee member, said she likes using the term "at risk for overweight" because it gives patients hope that "we can do something about it."

And someone at the Daily Kos wrote about it:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/7/3/112124/7502

One Fat A**hole

by kidneystones [Subscribe]

Mon Jul 03, 2006 at 08:21:24 AM PDT

Actually, what I said to my friend was: "You're a fat, fucking asshole."

Why?

And why read any diary with such an offensive opening?

Find out below the fold.

kidneystones's diary :: ::

If you made the jump into this diary, you're probably wondering how I could have any friends. I'm lucky. I do. Or maybe that should be: I'm lucky I do. You decide.

First, the background. I happen to live in a part of the world where very, very few folks are overweight. We eat well; and exercise is every bit as important in our kids' lives as study and friendship. Americans, on the other hand, live in a land where anywhere from 30 to 50 percent of the folks are fat.

That's right, fat. That stuff hanging in folds or jiggling in the mirror isn't muscle, it isn't bone and it isn't healthy. It's fat.

Fat is a bad word in America these days. To call someone "fat" is to be hurtful. Once upon a time most people carting an extra 20% or more of their body weight in fat around did so because of some sort of metabolic or glandular condition. So calling someone "fat" was simply an insult about a physical trait pretty much beyond anyone's control.

These days folks just eat too much of the wrong foods and don't get enough exercise. So, sorry "no banana". Or should we say "no more giant bags of corn-chips". The "I was just born fat" doesn't cut if for most folks these days.

How about this little nugget? One in eight New Yorkers has diabetes. One in eight? Read the opening graph from a NYT piece in January this year:

Begin on the sixth floor, third room from the end, swathed in fluorescence: a 60-year-old woman was having two toes sawed off. One floor up, corner room: a middle-aged man sprawled, recuperating from a kidney transplant. Next door: nerve damage. Eighth floor, first room to the left: stroke. Two doors down: more toes being removed. Next room: a flawed heart...

How many New Yorkers with diabetes does that work out to exactly? 800,000. Remember that burgeoning US Latin American population? Figure one out of every two will get diabetes, one out of every three Americans, according to the New York Times.

So what's the connection to calling my friend a "fat, fucking asshole"? Again, a tiny bit of background. My friend is successful, in his early 40's, gave up all alcohol and drugs about seven years back, and then tobacco a few years ago. In short, he's made a lot of positive changes in his life.

Since he quit smoking he's been beating himself up about his weight. Beating himself up bad. For years. Finally, during lunch several months ago, he complained that his negative self-image had gotten so bad that it was ruining his life, every time he looked in the mirror, he claimed, all he saw a "fat, fucking asshole." My friend then startled us by claiming that he was "just going to have to accept his weight and learn to live with it."

Huh? Here he was, ready to start reconstructing his identity so that he would no longer "worry" about eating his way into an early grave.

Sorry. Friends don't let friends choose diabetes. So, I leaned over and said as kindly as I could: "The reason you look into the mirror and see a fat, fucking asshole staring back is because you are a fat, fucking asshole. Our health in this respect is largely a matter of choice. You just need to decide to accept the responsibility for what you do each day and what you put into your mouth." I then proceeded to outline two or three surefire methods of getting into shape.

How did he react? You can imagine. He stormed out of the restaurant spitting and cursing.

The exact chronology of events that then followed is unclear, but it seems he complained about my "appalling" lack of sensitivity to a few other souls who may or may not have allowed that I might just have a point. In any event, guess who started losing weight. Big-time and, dare I say it, he now looks wonderful.

He clearly feels better about himself; and now sees that he can establish some control over his lifestyle. Did my comments make a difference? Who knows?

Then I came across this item in the Huff Post today:

CHICAGO - Is it OK for doctors and parents to tell children and teens they're fat? AP

The article is a real eye-opener, even for fans of clean living like me.

Labeling a child obese might "run the risk of making them angry, making the family angry," but it addresses a serious issue head-on, said Dr. Reginald Washington, a Denver pediatrician and co-chair of an American Academy of Pediatrics obesity task force.
"If that same person came into your office and had cancer, or was anemic, or had an ear infection, would we be having the same conversation? There are a thousand reasons why this obesity epidemic is so out of control, and one of them is no one wants to talk about it..."

This passage really made me think. Don't we object to the military using all those polite euphamisms, like "collateral damage" when what they're talking about is blowing-up civilian men, women and children? In the NYT article we have adults getting toes sawn-off, but we're afraid to use factually accurate language with children. Doesn't this lead to more confusion? You bet it does. More from the same AP article:

Those favoring a change say the current terms encourage denial of a problem affecting increasing numbers of U.S. youngsters.
Under a proposal studied by a committee of the American Medical Association, the CDC and others, fat children would get the same labels as adults -- overweight or obese.
The change "would certainly make sense. It would bring the U.S. in line with the rest of the world," said Tim Cole, a professor of medical statistics at the University College London's Institute of Child Health.
The existing categories are convoluted and "rather ironic, since the U.S. leads the world in terms of obesity," Cole said. "There must be an element of political correctness."
The debate illustrates just how touchy the nation is about its weight problem.
Obese "sounds mean. It doesn't sound good," said Trisha Leu, 17, who thinks the proposed change is a bad idea.
The Wheeling, Ill., teen has lost 60 pounds since March as part of an adolescent obesity surgery study at the University of Illinois at Chicago.
"When you're young, you don't understand what obese means," Leu said. "I still don't understand it."

Trisha Leu has "lost" 60 pounds during an "obesity surgery" study and she still doesn't understand what obese means? Maybe somebody should tell her that having 60 pounds trimmed off a teenager's body is the very definition of obesity.

So, I had lunch with this friend and others again this week. I complimented him once more on his improved appearence. He replied that he is still "running everyday". There's still some tension between us from our previous exchange.

In an ideal world nobody would be unhealthy. We'd respond to all those nicer folks who advise us gently to go to the gym or buy an exercise book. But the fact is for me and maybe my friend, I need to be hit square between the eyes with the truth before I pay attention, and typically more than once.

Like I said, I'm not completely comfortable with my role in all this. But if my friend does get healthy; and adds a few more years to his life, then maybe calling him a "fat, fucking asshole" really wasn't such a bad thing to do. I would never have used these words out of the blue, but for some reason serving them back to him just seemed right.

I don't think this is a one-size fits all issue, but the truth has to be at the center of every serious discussion. Often there is a solution if we can just get our minds around it. If just one person still reading decides to make some positive lifestyle decisions, then I'll feel this diary worthwhile.

Can we penetrate the fog of bs with polite words? I don't know; and I suspect not. I do know that denial is a killer. And if I have to make a decision between hurting someone's feelings or helping them get help I guess I know which way I'd go. You're entitled to disagree, no offense meant or taken.

Update: Kidneystones contacted his friend and made a follow up diary.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/7/5/12556/98916

A day or so ago I posted a diary on health built around an exchange I had with a friend.

Just this evening I emailed him to fill him in and give him a chance to respond.

His reply below the fold.

kidneystones's diary :: ::

I expect the only folks reading here are familiar with the diary so I won't dwell too much on that. I will, however, apologize for causing pain or giving offense in that diary. My friend and I belong to the same community outreach program and meet for lunch with others once a week or so. He emailed me this evening to pass along a link to the Tylenol liver damage story, so you can see we share a keen interest in health issues. Does that shared interest get me off the hook? Read for yourself.

From me:

Couple of quick questions
Was I out of line by calling you out on your weight?
Did my remarks motivate you in any way to take more action. (I'm well aware that you were already taking lots of action)?
Would you prefer I'd said nothing?
I hasten to add that the reason I ask is that I'm in the middle of a large discussion about how we deal with friends and their health issues and I've used our little blow-out as an example, no names, of course. The actual discussion is about destructive lifestyles and whether or not we should confront issues head on. Most of the participants are American. I'm arguing that with 1 in 8 New Yorkers diabetic ( 800,000 cases there alone) and one in every two Latinos expected to suffer the same fate, the last thing we need to do is pretend being extra large is normal.
There's an apology in here too.
I'll understand if you'd just as soon tell me to screw-off.
Not like you never have.
Cheers.

To which he replied:

Hi,
Was I out of line by calling you out on your weight?
* Yes. to a degree, not saying the same to John G and Doug leaves your motives open to question.*
Did my remarks motivate you in any way to take more action. (I'm well aware that you were already taking lots of action)?
* Not really I was well aware of my weight.....doing what I can. *
Would you prefer I'd said nothing?
* Probably, over it now. However I know it is your personality to be very direct (and sometimes very argumentative) but "...really, you look like a fat pig" is pretty strong and obviously going to cause resentment.*
I hasten to add that the reason I ask is that I'm in the middle of a large discussion about how we deal with friends and their health issues and I've used our little blow-out as an example, no names, of course. The actual discussion is about destructive lifestyles and whether or not we should confront issues head on. Most of the participants are American. I'm arguing that with 1 in 8 New Yorkers diabetic ( 800,000 cases there alone) and one in every two Latinos expected to suffer the same fate, the last thing we need to do is pretend being extra large is normal.
* I can see your point, gentle reference to the facts may be helpful, but I just read a study where people only change when fully accepted as they are. "Only when people feel fully loved and accepted as they are, are they capable of hearing that they should change." - Byron Katie *
There's an apology in here too.
* It is appreciated/accepted. *
I'll understand if you'd just as soon tell me to screw-off.
Not like you never have.
* ; o )
All the best*

I'm going to hit the hay. I still feel every bit as strongly about the insanity of our lifestyle choices. I'm not at all happy about the current dialogue, but accept that I'm not doing a good enough job of communicating with others. I expect I'm going to continue to err on the side of bluntness. I'll close here. No tip jar or further comment from me tonight.

"Only when people feel fully loved and accepted as they are, are they capable of hearing that they should change." - Byron Katie

2006-06-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

So far so good; my weight has been hovering at 195 (first thing in the morning) though I weigh a bit less after a long swimming workout.

Food has been fine, though I need a bit more structure at buffets.

What I am struggling with is making wise use of unstructured time; I always do better when there is some routine to discipline me.

2006-06-16T13:17:00.000-07:00

Things have gone well so far; I've been consistently at 195 in the mornings this week. The tide seems to have turned, which is nice since I am not working out that much.
In the above photos I am wearing the white longhorn hat and the black shirt and shorts; I am first in line in the top photo and squatting down in front (doing a "frog" stretch) in the second photo.

Yes, I do talk about weight and food, but for me that is a huge part of it. I don't want to be sitting in the rooms, patting my ponderous belly as I babble on with clever stories or windy philosophy.

2006-06-13T14:21:00.000-07:00

I'd like to give a hat tip to my sister who writes Bupkis for alterting me to the following article:
http://www.webmd.com/content/article/121/114065.htm. The article reads:

Most Americans See Excess Pounds on Others but Not Themselves

By Miranda Hitti
WebMD Medical News

Reviewed By Louise Chang, MD
on Wednesday, April 12, 2006

April 12, 2006 -- Most Americans see a serious weight problem among other Americans but often can't see it in themselves.

So says a new survey from the Pew Research Center. The survey, done by telephone in February and early March, included 2,250 randomly chosen U.S. adults.

The survey showed widespread agreement that the U.S. is heftier than it should be. But most participants thought those extra pounds were on other people's bodies.

Among poll takers, 90% said most Americans are overweight. A smaller group -- 70% -- said most people they know are overweight. Even fewer -- 39% -- called themselves overweight.

Participants mainly blamed insufficient exercise for America's weight problem, followed by lack of willpower about what to eat, the survey also shows.

Really? I guess that "denial" isn't just a river in Egypt any more!

The article continues:

When asked if Americans are more overweight than five years ago, 85% of poll takers said yes, and two-thirds called that trend a "major problem."

The CDC recently reported that seven out of 10 U.S. adults are overweight or obeseseven out of 10 U.S. adults are overweight or obese. But in the Pew survey, less than four in 10 thought they were overweight, showing a gap between perception and reality. [...]

Both polls showed that among people who had ever dieted, about 75% reported losing at least 5 pounds and keeping that weight off for at least a year. In other words, dieting may have been more common 15 years ago, but people weren't much better at it then.

"Nearly everyone -- dieters and nondieters alike -- say that is difficult to lose weight," the new poll states. For instance, 59% said it is "very hard" for people who are very overweight to lose weight. Women, people aged 50 and older, overweight people, and dieters were more likely to agree that weight loss is very hard for the very overweight.

Exercise a Big Issue

Why are so many people in the U.S. overweight? Insufficient exercise is the biggest reason, the poll shows.

Again, this "reason" just comes from the polls. I suppose this is part of the "well, most people are average but I am above average attitude that I see so often in many walks of life.

I also remember that when I lost a great deal of weight, I saw myself as being slimmer than I actually was.

2006-06-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

I spent the weekend in Chicago with my wife attending a racewalking clinic.

The clinic might be described as a Step 10 for my walking. When I walk I feel that I am walking well; the cold blooded video analysis shows differently.

Next, my temptation is to rush out and buy a digital video camera, new fancy shoes, etc. These latter things might help but only if I follow through by using them.

Same thing with recovery stuff: if I go to events and then don't follow up, I've wasted my time.

Scale: 195.5 this morning; it appears that I am back down near the top of my upper range.

2006-06-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

It really is about the food. I remember a few weeks ago, someone came to a meeting and left prior to our post meeting greetings (hugs). I asked if everything was ok. He said "no one talked about food."

He was right of course, and from then on I've tried to mention food and my struggles with it and freedom from it.

Last night, "guilt and shame" was the topic. And, as is the style these days, "shame" took a beating. But you know what? It was shame that lead me to seek out help! Shame isn't all bad and I think it is foolish to try to eliminate it entirely.

Note that I am not talking about inappropriate shame (e. g., a victim of a crime being ashamed, etc.) Mental health professionals have much to offer in many cases.

But appropriate shame, like pain, has its place.

2006-06-06T02:00:00.000-07:00

I am having difficulty sleeping as these long events (24 hour, 100 mile) play havoc with my sleep patterns for a few days.

Nevertheless, I am glad that I did the race.

I drove back from Minneapolis on Monday and made it in time for a 5:30 meeting. The contrast between the members of a compulsive overeaters meeting and the group of ultra runners/walkers that I had just been with was very stark, at least in physical terms.

It is no secret that the better ultra athletes are slender, and those who finish 100 miles are almost always skinny. I am usually one of the heavier ones (at least in the three times I finished 100 miles). The body types at a support group for overeaters are 180 degrees opposite on the body fat scale.

As far as who shows up and sticks with it long term: typically, the "success" stories are those who were, at one time, somewhere between moderately and morbidly obese who have lost, say, 1/2 to 2/3'rd of their excess weight and have kept it off (say, a former 300 pound woman who now is between 180 and 190 pounds and has stayed that way for a couple of years). Statistically speaking, these types have done themselves a great favor, as the health risks from obesity skyrocket as one passes from being moderately to morbidly obese.

Nevertheless, that isn't all of what I want out of the program. But if I don't go to these meetings, my days of doing ultras will be long gone.
These meetings keep the old tapes "hey, you walked X miles therefore you deserve to eat W, Y and Z" silent.

2006-06-05T06:26:00.000-07:00

I am getting ready to head back to Peoria from Minneapolis.

Take a look at the picture to the side; notice the people in the background including those at the counter. There is also one person who isn't overweight; can you spot him (or her)?

This leads to another issue I have: I don't like fat people, or rather I have a bias against them.

No, I don't think that fat people are stupid, etc., and I wouldn't dream of considering a person's weight if they were, say, looking for a job. What I mean is that I don't like being around groups of fat people, especially when they are around food. That lends itself to a problem because many of my relatives, both "blood" relatives and "in-laws", are obese. Unfortunately, some are very young and obese.

But, as someone told me: "it isn't contageous and, if it (the propensity to overeat) were contageous, you already have it."

Now what explains my attraction toward extreme sports like ultramarathons? This article might provide a clue:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20060605/sc_space/menwhocantplaydrink

LiveScience Staff

LiveScience.comSun Jun 4, 10:00 PM ET

Here's a shocker: "Men who are not confident in their sporting abilities may try and make up for this by drinking excessively."

So says Richard de Visser, whose new study looked into the masculine behaviors of young men in London and how it all affects their health.

The University of Sussex researcher did in-depth interviews with 31 men age 18-21, concluding that they commonly use one type of typically masculine behavior to compensate for their inability to perform another.

With the World Cup soccer tournament starting Friday, and his nation's young men expected to down a few extra pints during the televised action from Germany, de Visser thinks understanding the findings could improve health education.

The message: Play ball!

The results "may be able to have an impact on the growing levels of anti-social behavior such as binge-drinking, violence and illicit drug-use," de Visser said Sunday. "Young men could be encouraged to develop a competence in a healthy typically male area—such as football—to resist social pressures to engage in unhealthy masculine behaviors."

The study, funded by the UK's Economic and Social Research Council, will be published later this year in Psychology and Health and the Journal of Health Psychology.

2006-06-05T01:30:00.000-07:00

This post is being made at 3:26 am on Monday, 5 June. I am beat up and sore from the weekend's 24 hour walk (83 miles; a "median" type result for me).

Of course, I bore the burden of those 10 extra pounds or so; it will take time for these to come off.

No, I am not doing the compulsive weight reduction diet type thing, but I also know that regaining 130-135 pounds starts with gaining the first 10.

How else did food factor in? Well, at 12:38 (tweleve hours, 38 minutes) I was at 50 miles and ate one slice of pizza for my meal (every 4 hours). I decided to eat a second slice 38 minutes later (I give myself 1 hour to finish my meal). The second slice was a disaster as it didn't digest; it made me sick.

The first slice really worked as the fat in it helped me pick up the pace. But pizza is hard to digest, especially when I am working hard for a sustained period.

So, this was the old "if one is great, two is even better" type of thinking.

The good news is that I didn't quit and 4 hours later (after not being able to hold anything; not even water) my last "meal" perked me right up.

2006-06-01T12:51:00.000-07:00

So far so good; this has been another good day with the food. I am not leaving meals feeling bloated.

I do ultramarathons and have to alter my plan of eating. I never eat non-abstinent food, but I go on a "meal time every 4 hours" with a juice/protien bar (sugar free) snack every 2 hours or so if the stomach can handle it.

This time I might try the juice every 2 hours, meal every 4.

Weight is 196.5 (home scale).

2006-05-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

I had a good swim this morning. The problem is that, when I gain weight, I swim faster. That makes it all too easy to rationalize weight gain.

2006-05-29T18:47:00.000-07:00

Today's "For Today" reading was on kindness; mostly they focused on one being kind to themselves.

So, how am I kind to myself? I'll answer with some stories.

Many years ago, President Reagan was shot. He was rushed to the nearest hospital which was the type that did not cater to celebrities. The doctor he saw treated him the way he treated anyone else, and didn't hesitate to cause him pain in order to find the bullet. In doing so, the doctor saved his life.

Around the same time, I was recovering from knee surgery. The knee had developed scar tissue and wouldn't bend all the way. The physical therapist didn't hesitate to cause me pain; he didn't want me to spend the rest of my life crippled.

Both were examples of kindness.

Yes, I know that there is a difference between being helpful (e. g., "it appears that you are gaining weight; is anything wrong?") vs. being hateful ("gee, you are sure turning into a fatso!").

But to deny it when things are going wrong is not being kind.

2006-05-29T03:41:00.000-07:00

Yikes! I weighed this morning: 202 lbs. I know some of it comes from having eaten salty food two days in a row, but not all of it.

I am serious need of adjusting my foodplan. And, having gained this much weight I can't call myself "abstinent" any longer. But I am abstinent today, so far.

That is what happens from time to time: I have a foodplan adjusted up for ultra training and, being a compulsive overeater, I am loathe to adjust it back down when I am not ultra training.

Oh well; I know what I need to do. Humility, working with others and being honest with my sponsor, spouse and program friends.

Update: the scale may have been a bit off. I weighed 198.6 on the expensive health club scale and 198.5 when I got back.

This is what I look like as of May 29, 2006: (click for larger photo)

2006-05-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

Peoria, Illinois Overeaters Anonymous meetings.

Note: this site has nothing to do with Overeaters Anonymous; this is strictly one person saying: "if interested, these meetings are here"

Note: Unity Church (all Unity Church Meetings are at The Center for Creative Living, which is an annex across the parking lot from the church; it is at the corner of Hudson and Avalon streets, one block north of Forest Hill and between Sheridan and University streets)

Monday: 5:30 pm, Unity Church

Tuesday 7 am Unity Church

Tuesday, 6:30 pm Unity Church

Wednesday, 10 am, Assembly of God Church on Brandywine (just north of War Memorial )

Thursday, 7 pm Unity Church

Friday, 5:30 pm Unity Church

Saturday 9 am, Unity Church

Sunday 4 pm, St. Augustine Home (for the elderly)

Unity Church, City Scale (Mapquest)

Unity Church, Street Level

2006-05-28T16:25:00.000-07:00

I am back home after an 8 day trip. I will weigh on Tuesday. In the spirit of honesty: back in October/November 2005, I was around 188 pounds. Lately I've been around 195 or so (192-196 ) and the weight gain has been real.

My portions are too big; I need to pray for the ability to reduce them, and then reduce them. I've been abstaining from binge foods and from eating between planned meals.

I am not obese as the following two photos show, but I am not quite as slender as before either.

Just going through the motions will not cut it.

While on vacation I made 4 meetings, followed my plan, read literature and called. My portions were too big at times though.

2006-05-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

I don't anticipate posting all that much here. But this will be my online journal for my recovery from compulsive overeating program.

I have some other blogs but, due to anonimity concerns, I don't want to make recovery related posts there.

A brief introduciton to me: my top weight was 320 lbs; right now I weigh 190-195. I've been 188-195 since the winter of 1996.

I've included some before and after photos; the before was in 1992. The after photos were taken in 2004 and 2005 respectively. The track photo was from 2004; I was doing the 3000 meter racewalk.

So, for my first post, I'll share something that I read from the website Graysheeters Anonymous. I think it makes some great points about this "love" stuff that you hear so much about; I much prefer "clarity":

http://www.greysheet.org/nature.shtml

[...]As years went by -- and there were about 7 of them before I was able to actually put down the food -- I watched the blossoming in the regular rooms of OA of so much so-called LOVE, and so much GENTLENESS! I watched the Big Book and Step workshops multiply. I watched overweight people leading these Big Book and Step workshops. I saw very little abstinence. I watched the ABSTINENT people in NYC regular OA (maybe one in 30?) being very low-keyed, very quiet. I STUDIED them, because they were my only hope. The ones with a few years were never available to sponsor. They didn't laugh. They rarely smiled. It was damn hard being abstinent in a room full of food-drunk people dumping about everything, except about not picking up that first compulsive bite, no matter what. [In AA meetings, there's a convention that "if you've been drinking or used any mood-changers today, we ask you not to share in the meeting -- but rather, approach one of us after the meeting to speak with us."]

When I found the small Cambridge GreySheet Group in NYC in 1989, I was "circling the drain" -- coming perilously close to a return to bingeing. At that time, there were some pretty hard-talking people with relatively long abstinence here. I was attracted to them, because they were clear as a bell, and they always seemed to take responsibility for themselves -- something I find immensely refreshing, appealing, and inspiring. FOR ME, IT'S A PROMISE OF RECOVERY!

These abstinent greysheeters were NOT attributing their recovery to the LOVE they received. They were attributing it the CLARITY and BOUNDARIES they were shown and guided to implement. Clarity, truth, boundaries -- you have these, the love takes care of itself. THAT gave me HOPE -- that had the ring of TRUTH to it, for me. A message with depth and substance. After all, if I'm a VICTIM, and I give power to those mean bad guys the world is well supplied with, then I'm more or less condemned to remain hurt, abused, and in the food. Being the supersensitive person that I am, if I had waited till someone was nice and gentle and loving to me before I started to take responsibility for myself, and picked up the set of tools that is laid at my feet, it just might never have happened! [...]